Tis Life

So in Abnormal Psych there was this guest lecture, I missed it, but was given a briefing the next day. It was talking about a predisposition to violence, homosexuality, and addictions. We discussed whether there would be benefits from like changing the genetics of a person, so that they don't have to struggle with that. I thought about it for a bit, and decided that if that opportunity was available. I would be game. I think there would be lots of struggling Christians that would be game. I haven't struggled with attraction to a girl in a long time. Praise Jesus. But I do struggle with things like walking through stores, wondering what people think of me, wanting to be different, and so on. Like today, I thought about this while walking through the gap. I looked through the woman's department and didn't really see anything (this is abnormal), but my gma convinced me to try on a pair of jeans. I did, they were too long haha, go figure. Then when we were walking out, I saw this amazing shirt. It was so awesome, I said something to my gma without thinking. "I really like this shirt!" "It's in the MEN'S deparment." Well, I feel like an idiot.
I like my haircut, but I keep getting nervous around my gpa, because I think that he might call my haircut a dyke cut. That would really hurt my feelings. I don't really know how to struggle through this stuff because where is the line between being me and conforming to culture. Or what really is me, like do I have some underlying issues that cause me to want to dress and act the way I do? I believe there is probably some purpose in me not fitting in. I mean what I want to do with my life is work with people who don't fit in. Whether it be mentally ill people, teen's that are pregnant, or even homosexuals. All sets don't fit in. I don't fit in. Why can't I accept that and just be me. I have too many classes right now that are talking about homosexuality, addictions, impulse control, and other things that I can relate to my life. Even though I wouldn't diagnosis myself with any of them, I have parts of them.
I get to go to a group home for pregnany teens on Tuesday morning. I am excited for that. And writing an editorial on Family Problems this week should be fun. And I am forcing myself to learn about the disorder anorexia nervosa for my abnormal psych course, so that I am more sensitive to it. I praise God for the opportunities and experiences I am getting in Indiana.
PS.. I still want a dog. I wish May would get here quick!