Deflated.

So I heard from several people how good a movie Fireproof was... to the point that i HAD to see it. I watched it tongiht and the message sent was amazing.. but I wasn't ready for what God had instore.... a memory. A memory in the context of a child filled with hope. I don't ever remember things about the duplex in Huxley, but tonight I saw the hallway with the piano and the pretty signed document above it. A document that said my parents had struggled... but they were RECOMMITTED to each other for life. Hope.. it outlined hope. My family was going to be ok. My family was going to stick it out. All kinds of hope came with that, but right now that memory breaks my heart. It helps me understand why it was so hard to hear that my mother changed her last name. It makes sense why there was so much anger when my mom's new husband did everything right and I didn't feel like my dad got a second chance. It makes sense that my father is striving to listen, love, and be more Christlike. I respect my father a lot. Shoot man, crying is tough. I dislike it, but its legit pain that needs to be expressed. I need to work through forgiveness. God please grow me. Love me.... thank you Jesus.